August 25, 2008

Hi from sunny Vancouver...we had our share of clouds and rain this past week, but the sun is back for now at least.

It has been an extremely difficult week and I haven't had the energy nor desire to blog this past week. Eight days ago something very painful happened while I was working in the kitchen. I felt this sharp, take your breath away kind of pain in my lower back, and traveling through my bottom and down my hamstring. I had some sore muscles in my back and they hit a nerve center. I have had lots of trouble getting up from bed, chairs, couches, cars, etc and have to roll up one vertebrae at a time. It's been draining emotionally and physically to deal with this chronic pain. I was taking Advil which started causing all sorts of stomach problems. With the help of my father-in-law and cousin doctor they've put me on a new regime. There were about 4 nights I seriously considered going to emerg as the pain in my stomach and back and legs was so intense it woke me up. Cooling, heating, stretching and staying on my feet and moving has helped, but as soon as I sit or lie down the stiffness settled in and spasmed.

About 5 nights ago Sam was watching a show while I was on the carpet doing my stretches, trying to help deal with the pain, as tears were rolling down my face. I crawled to the couch and said out loud to myself, "What did I do to deserve this?" Sam looked at me and said, "Mom, God has a plan for your pain, do you think I did something to deserve MY cancer?" I told him, it was just an expression, but he certainly put things in right perspective for me

The Olympics coverage has kept me company several nights as I was trying to heat and stretch the pain away during the night hours. The closing ceremonies were fabulous and anyone watching through the window would have thought I was moved to tears! Not, moved by pain to be exact.

Yesterday was unbelievable! I woke up, took some medication after heat and stretching and thought I have to carry on with our plans to go to Camp Firwood in Bellingham so Karly could visit her camp counsellors from years past, her cousin Daniel, who is working there, and hang out with her cousins who were dropping off their brother. We all got ready, were in the car and about 10 blocks from the house when we heard a huge bang and then rattle, scrape, rattle, rattle scrape....The muffler/exhaust system had its final blowout and was now done. Sam had a look under the car and said it was dragging on the ground. We rattled slowly home with our hazards on. Karly was incredible disappointed not to be heading out to camp. I called Ger and asked what to do...BCAA wouldn't tow me because the car was indeed still capable of moving. We figured out a plan, after I had an emotional breakdown, I rode the bus from one end of the city to Burnaby to pick up my sisters car, that I was positive she wouldn't mind me using, as her family was in Mexico visiting one of my brothers and his family who live there. ( Karly was not happy about me taking the bus after she heard on the news about all the purse snatchers and she also had that terrible Greyhound incident in her mind as well. I assured her I would be fine and I would call as soon as I got to my sisters home. Then as we neared downtown an elderly woman got on the bus and told the bus driver she had to get our her wallet. She said she normally has it out, ready for the driver to see her bus pass, but last week a guy had tried to rip it out of her hands and she had whacked him and he left, WITHOUT her wallet. I was silently cheering on this brave granny!) Her in-laws who live in the basement suite assured me it was absolutely fine. I went upstairs to Donna's to visit her dogs, get something to eat, opened a drawer where all the nuts and dried fruit and baking goodies are that I like to f frequent, and out came a slew of tiny moths. I grabbed some bags of nuts and saw that there were holes eaten away through many of them. I looked at the sunflower seeds and saw huge nests and little creepy crawly worms mucking about! ( A very good reason to avoid the bulk food section...it looks like she got a few worms with her seeds and they multiplied in their new yummy environment). Yikes and Ughhh, what else could possible happen to me today! I grabbed a garbage bag and emptied 2 large drawers of all the food, sterilized the drawers, went around the house killing all the escaped moths, checked out all the other food places in her kitchen, (fortunately, none were anywhere else) and cleaned up the mess. I went down to get the in-laws for moral support as I was feeling weepy, tired, and drained. They helped and we got the job done.

I spent some time praying in her car before I left and asked for help and a time out! When I got back to our house, Phil and Noni called and said they were on the way to pick up their daughter Hannah who had been keeping us company for a few days. Phil took off the whole exhaust system, we all drove down and dropped my car off at the Toyota repair shop, left a letter and my key with notes to call with an estimate of cost and time to get fixed. By now it was dinner time and they found a authentic Chinese restaurant and we had a great meal. After dinner they introduced us to Bubble Tea and we tried several flavors and my kids were intrigued with the bubbles, but ordered theirs without! We picked up a movie and shared a fun evening together. God sent help, company, laughter and it was such a great ending to a terrible day!

Last Monday and Tuesday Sam was feeling very nauseated, tired, and had low energy. On Wednesday it was no surprise when the counts came back from the lab and he was extremely low and needed an immediate blood transfusion. We were at the hospital all day. Sam became very woozy again and vomited at the end. We were both tired and not feeling great by the time we arrived home. It was hot baths, relax and early to bed.

Everyday since he has felt nauseated and has vomited once each day. But he is amazing, as usual, and has been in great spirits. He bounces back so quickly and just carries on as if nothing has happened. People are amazed and very surprised.

Today we go in for blood work to see how his numbers are doing and whether it looks like he'll start his next phase of chemotherapy this week or whether he needs another week to build up his numbers. We are all hoping and praying that his numbers will be good and he can begin his new treatments this week. Then we can go home at the end of the week!!! We are longing to go home after being in Vancouver for 3 1/2 months. Sam is going to start receiving his protocol in Prince George so we can be together as a family instead of being separated for another 5 months...its just too hard! Sam and I will need to fly back to Vancouver once a month to get his spinals done and get checked out by his team here. Everyone feels good about this and his oncologist said this was a good time in his protocol to start this phase in Prince George. He said we would all do better if we were together. He also said it is common for out of towners to check in once a month and do the big procedures with them. We agreed and feel good about the decision.

So that's the update and drama from Debbie, Sam and Karly. We're praying for a gentler, less painful week. Sam has been praying over my back each day as I pray over his body. He's a treasure as are my Karly and K8!

Thanks for reading and for your continued prayers!
Debbie